Choosing Me

I’m currently living in small town USA and all of my good friends here are either married or in very serious relationships, which is normal and absolutely amazing. However, when people here meet me and ask me if I’m married or have children and I tell them no, they tend to look at me with pity. And I want to put an end to that, right now.

You know what’s really brave? – Choosing to be alone. Choosing to love yourself more than anyone else and to put your needs wants and desires at the very top of your list. I know that it takes strength, patience, and a lot of work to be in a successful relationship/marriage. My intentions are not to downplay how hard those lifestyles can be, but I do want to highlight on the fact that my choice to be single instead of settling for a relationship that I’m not happy in also takes strength and patience.

I’ve settled before, and it was absolutely miserable. If I’m going to choose to spend what’s left of my life with another human being, it’s going to be because I’m happiest with that person. I will never choose to be with someone just because the fear of ending up alone is real. Trust me, I’ve confronted that fear more times than can count. I’m not saying that I don’t have moments where I’m terrified about what my life will look like if I don’t ever meet a true partner. What I’m saying is that I will continue to love myself enough to protect the amazing human I am turning out to be, and if I don’t end up finding a counterpart – I will be enough.

So far, year 28 has really been focused on building my self-love. I’ve pushed myself in ways I didn’t know I could. I’ve applauded myself on my accomplishments, big and small. I’ve vocalized for the first time in my life how proud I am of the woman I’ve become.

I love this woman. I will accept her. I will stand by her. I will fight for her. I will be kind to her. I will push her to do better. I will encourage her. I will show up for her.

Every. Single. Day.